Take Carla for example, she spends the day cleaning the house thoroughly before her mother visits. She’s worried about facing criticism. Then there’s Alex, who is happy with his job, and makes just enough money to pay the bills, but hides his income from his father who associates success with high earnings. He’s scared to be seen as inadequate.
No doubt, you can think of regular anxiety-causing attempts to find acceptance. Maybe you try on multiple outfits before leaving the house because you don’t feel confident about your appearance. Alternatively, you might hide qualities, or not show your talents because you doubt others will approve.
You want reliable feedback, however, it won’t come from others; it will come from your higher-self, the universe, God, or source energy, depending on what you believe. Others can provide opinions, but not unbiased appraisals. Their views come from their personality and experiences. If they have greater experience, you might consider their opinions, but never place them higher than feedback from within.
You can ask your higher-self for pointers, and listen and feel for answers. You might hear an answer in your head, or experience a feeling in your heart. Once you understand your personality is made from your past, others opinions, your culture and so on, and you also have a higher-self, you can begin to distinguish where feedback comes from. Your ego/personality self might say something negative, but your higher-self always has something healthier to say. “You can do this.” “You are lovable.” “You are bright.” “You have the best intentions within, and never need feel ashamed.” These are the responses your higher-self might provide.
Your higher-self has your best interests at heart. It won’t chastise you for not doing or being something other than you are. It won’t judge you because there is no need. Like a kind, wise guide, it directs you when times are tough if you pay heed, and smiles with you when times are good. There’s no one better you can rely on, so breathe deeply when people criticize or judge you. Remember it’s their personality talking. They may disapprove of you, but their opinions are not good replacements for the wisdom of your inner guidance.