Stop wanting others to understand you

You often find yourself wanting others to understand you. “Of course,” you might say. “Everyone wants to be understood!” We know people strive for others to ‘get’ them because we see them arguing their point as if their lives depend on their opinions being believed. Sometimes, we discover ourselves fighting to make our views known, and we wish others would take on our beliefs and abandon their own. We think we are right, and if only others felt the same, we would find comfort.

There is no comfort in wanting others to understand you

There’s comfort in being understood, but not in needing this to be so when it’s not a reality. When you have a meeting of minds with someone, you feel content. You are at ease because there is harmony. Disharmony, though, is created in your mind when other’s views clash with yours, yet, it is okay for others not to get you.

When others are not sympathetic to your view of the world, you are not diminished. The world doesn’t stop because feelings are not shared. Life goes on the same whether you argue to be understood or confidently stay silent. The difference shows, though, in your experience. In one instance, you are jumbled up inside, frustrated or sad. In the other, your inner strength rises, and you are calm.

Confidence grows when you stop wanting to be understood

Your self-esteem lifts when you stop wanting others to understand you. When having the understanding of people around you is no longer a requirement for your happiness, you are free to be happy whatever they think. Accept your feelings, but know others have their own to deal with that might not be similar. It’s alright to be you and have the thoughts and feelings you own without validation from anyone else.

When you stop wanting others to understand you, you accept their feelings might be different to yours. When they argue their point of view, trying to be understood, you recognize the discomfort and insecurity they must feel. You don’t feel the urge to drown them in opinions that differ from theirs or to take theirs on board. You feel empathy on one level and a healthy balance of detachment on another. There’s no need to argue because you respect your feelings and theirs simultaneously; what a relief!

There is such confidence, freedom, and stability to be had from appreciating times when you are understood, but not trying to be known when you meet different views. Decide it is okay for others to think and feel differently to you, and you’ll experience much less stress.

About bridget

bridget webber

Bridget Webber’s background rests in mental health, counselling, hypnotherapy, NLP and art. She brings knowledge from her experiences into her writing and specializes in emotional wellness and the creation of, rather than search for, joy. You can catch up with her insights and musings on Twitter.

Twitter: @InsightManager

One Reaction

  1. Suzanne

    I needed to read that. Even if this is something I knew, I am still strugling with it lately. A good reminder was necessary.