Imagine your best friend lives in your head, and whenever concerns arise, your friend talks you out of them; it’s as simple as that. Your brilliant friend who adores you wouldn’t dream of encouraging you to think negative thoughts for too long; you’d be talked out of them pronto. Worried you don’t look great, or your best isn’t good enough? The pal in your head won’t stand for such nonsense, and will dismiss any critical self-talk instantly.
How does self-soothing work?
Self-soothing takes the edge off worries that make you wince and choke. The helpful friend in your head reminds you not to blow matters out of proportion. When you worry, you enlarge negative concerns and forget positive aspects about what’s happening. Self-soothing puts everything back in balance, lowering negative thoughts that are running riot, and returning your thoughts to normality.
The helpful voice in your head might say, “You think you’re always wrong, but don’t you remember the times you were right recently?” Your friend may also put matters into perspective by saying, “Don’t forget you have qualifications, experience, and people look up to you, so your notion about being stupid can’t be right.”
Okay, so why doesn’t my friend help me?
The friendly voice positive people hear in their heads isn’t a magic genie, only available to select individuals. Although, it can be summoned, you don’t need to rub a lamp to make a soothing voice materialize, but you do have to acknowledge it exists and listen. If it doesn’t appear instantly when you need it, use your imagination; it’s the same thing. Your imagination can easily reproduce what a sensible, caring friend would tell you when you need soothing. Just imagine what you would say to someone you love in similar circumstances to those you face.
Positive people self-soothe automatically. They’ve learned how to be their own best friends, and you can as well. Use your imagination to summon a soothing, helpful retort in your mind when you need one; eventually, it will appear effortlessly.