How to cope with people who annoy you

Anyone can annoy you; even the most understanding, kind, and wise individuals can drive you mad. However, for them to do so, you have to focus on feeling annoyed. Once you think; “This person is bothersome,” you have to concentrate on experiencing irritation to keep the feeling going. In other words, you tune into the energy of exasperation, experiencing it in depth, noticing how physically and emotionally irritated you are. Consequently, it makes sense that to shift your experience of someone as irksome, you have to work on your perception, looking inside, rather than trying to change them.

But they do annoy me

“I have to deal with this annoying person all the time; all the time! They just ruin my day, and everyone thinks the same as me, so it must be true. They are downright infuriating.” That is how someone tuned into the energy of annoyance experiences life. Evidence that you are right will appear around every corner because you are open to seeing it instead of a different type of energy.

Once you get into the mode of irritation, you call in the experience of being irritated and others annoy you more than ever. You think, “Now everyone around me is annoying. Am I the only sane person here?”

If you find yourself on the verge of letting someone annoy you, pause, then remember you are in charge of your thoughts, and your thoughts result in feelings. When you think; “This person is a pain to be with,” more thoughts of a similar nature will follow. You’ll wrap yourself up in encouraging the experience you don’t want to happen, immersing yourself in the energy of being annoyed. You’ll look for evidence that you’re right and be correct because that’s what you’re open to seeing.

Instead of going down the same old route of jumping into annoyance, look under the surface. What is an annoyance after all? Maybe, it’s discomfort; you feel uncomfortable for some reason, and attribute that feeling to someone. Perhaps they’re doing something that triggers a sense of being uncomfortable in you, and all you want is to get comfy again.

Getting comfortable again

You could examine your discomfort, delving in how uncomfortable you are, but that would exaggerate the problem. You could communicate your pain, telling the person how this or that behavior is upsetting. However, that would still exacerbate the issue. Thus, the answer is to shift your attention away from what bothers you. The easier action is to remove yourself. Nonetheless, doing so may not be appropriate or possible. Thus, you can shift your thoughts to a more comfortable place, and this will change your experience.

You might focus on taking deep, even breaths to calm your system and change your mindset. You can also use your imagination as a tool, choosing to watch the other person with curiosity rather than letting them annoy you. You might imagine you are a doctor, examining their energy like it’s a symptom. Doctors don’t take on the symptoms of their client’s diseases, becoming ill themselves. Similarly, you can retain your peaceful energy with detachment from other people’s energy.

Not gathering the energy of others, or generating negative energy, takes awareness. When you are aware of the potential for discomfort to arise, you can remember to maintain the energy you prefer using detachment. You detach yourself emotionally from allowing anything to annoy you. You recall that no one can make you feel a certain way, they haven’t got that magic. Only you can take hold of your thoughts, and shift your perspective or attention to aid what you want to experience.

About bridget

bridget webber

Bridget Webber’s background rests in mental health, counselling, hypnotherapy, NLP and art. She brings knowledge from her experiences into her writing and specializes in emotional wellness and the creation of, rather than search for, joy. You can catch up with her insights and musings on Twitter.

Twitter: @InsightManager

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